I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You were trust falling into bushes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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