Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
