windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize