Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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