Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
