how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
