Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
