More tranny stories later!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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