It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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