Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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