ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize