just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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