She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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