I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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