If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize