Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
