my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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