I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize