Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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