Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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