just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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