He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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