i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
