I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
