this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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