She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
