You work out of a Hotel?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Someone signed my nipple.
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