I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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