so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
MIDGETS
????
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
