roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.