There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?