Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I chose taco bell over sex...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Pants are for mortals