My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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