she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
