Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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