He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
