You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.