That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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