So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Panties = found
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
