I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
