theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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