It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
