thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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