So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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