You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
