They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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