so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish you could order shots online.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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