I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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