that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
