I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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