I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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