i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
