I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
