we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
