I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
