he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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