just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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