Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize