i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize